August 24, 2014

A hiatus update; balancing in life's eagle pose

I know it's been an awfully quiet year this year with the blogging. I definitely owe this blog an apology, but also an update as to why I've been absent.

The analogy to what I will describe here came to me as an epiphany during yoga, as I was balancing in eagle's pose despite the heat, the internal battles, and the numbing pressure from the bikram instruction. Instead of fighting against it, I decided to let it be and allow my breath to take me deeper into the pose. If you have done a class of bikram, or yoga for that matter, finding balance is incredibly tough. The first half a minute into a balancing pose seems manageable, however, as you edge yourself lower or hold on to the pose for longer, it becomes awfully difficult to achieve the balance 'comfortably'. 

I don't know why it took me this long to figure out that finding balance in life is awfully tough. 

I admire mothers who are able to manage all the busy demands from work, the baby, and partner. It's a personal sacrifice more than none, to decide on what are the things that have to go... The easy ones to let go are obviously the little things that made you who you are and the 'me' time. 

Everyone wants to be happy. Although, to each person, happiness can be defined in so many ways. For me, I dream of a man who will love and support me, a fulfilling career, down-to-earth and sincere friends, a family who understands me rather than what cultural norms dictate me to be, and hopefully to build a family life. I fought hard to bring myself to a competency level that allows me to work internationally - be it an MBA, taking language classes 3 days a week, and pushing my limits at work that made me relentless in pursuit of a flexible international career. I fought even harder to be with a person I spent a good 3 years with and still dearly love, sometimes at the expense of clashing with my family strict values and putting my life on hold. I stopped going out for the most part, preferring to meet with friends who were attached or staying home on Friday nights. I was sure as well he was doing the same in Vienna, because trust were the only strings that were holding us together.

I reached a critical point after 1.5 years that I couldn't hold my balance together anymore. I was unhappy and not living my life 'now'. I struggled to find the time to keep up with my language homework, to keep up with the constant deadlines at work, to keep my household together, to find time to go to the gym/yoga, to have a healthy appetite, and to keep the passion alive between me and my ex during a long-distance relationship of midnight Skype calls. The balancing act was torturous and draining, and I found myself slowly giving up.

When times do get tough, the human will finds ways to break loose from the constraints. For example, I started to subconsciously find ways to achieve the sense of stability. I adopted a kitten, a very cute little Scottish Straight at that, believing that I was preparing myself to abandon the idea of relocating away from Singapore. I allowed myself to be 'less perfect', and lowered my standards for myself at work and personally. And finally, more recently, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. I'm still crushed and sad thinking about him; for many reasons - but mainly we were so truly happy together and looked forward to tying the knot. 

The transition is still tough, but slowly relieving for me. I am learning to be kinder to myself, allowing myself to open myself up to someone new in my life, forging a closer embrace to my family's cultural values, and accepting a career that is a notch lower to what I've dreamt it to be. 

I stopped blogging because I found no happiness in beauty as I used to. While I still like to feel beautiful in my own skin, I don't get easily excited about new releases. Perhaps one day I may just close this blog and call it a day, but I'm not prepared to. This blog holds so many memories of me - from the times in Denmark and the different phases of my life. Behind the selfies and the plethora of beauty stuff, I can still go back and read behind the lines of each story to what I was feeling and doing that day. So it's not the end to this blog, and I want to continue to write as I used to, but with a lesser frequency while I find a new balance in my life. 

In the meantime, you could always check out my little kitty's Facebook here:

Thanks always for supporting me and this blog. 

June 28, 2014

A find! YSL Volupte Sheer Candy #12 Tasty Raspberry

Shopping under stress is a dangerous feat. Case in point: many new lipstick purchases, including today's feature: a YSL Volupte Sheer Candy Glossy Balm in Tasty Raspberry #12. I have always had a love-hate relationship with YSL. Their Rouge Volupte classic lipsticks are loved by many, but it applies patchy on my dry lips. Ever since YSL came out with the shine and candy formulas, I have fallen victim these luxurious golden bullets and have accumulated a fond stash. 

Tasty Raspberry is a muted sheer light pink with golden flecks of glitter interspersed. The shade is gorgeous enough to bring out 'your-lips-but-better', while staying soft and glossy on the lips - appearing more like a balm. The formula of the sheer candy lipsticks is super comfortable, similar to a lightweight gel, and fills in the dry lip lines making your lips look fuller. 

Don't let the sheerness of Tasty Raspberry fool you. I guarantee that this shade simply looks much better on the lips than swatched. 

I love this shade! I think its one of those go-to lipsticks for the office, for the stroll down the park if you will, and those - 'I don't want to appear too 'dressed up'. A shy and always-appropriate lipstick. And I'm pretty sure you know, deep down, that while the orange tangerine/fuschia pink matt lips may be the 'in' thing right now, we all sensible ladies secretly crave a soft and understated lip. Surprisingly though, I have had some difficulty finding sheer glossy MLBB lipsticks as of late. If you have some recommendations, pop them in the comments box below. 

On my face, I have on Lancome Visionnaire foundation (I need to review this soon), Chanel soleil tan de Chanel, some shades from the Urban Decay Vice Palette, Guerlain meteorites (old formula), and Giorgio Armani ETK mascara. 

Thank you all for continuing to read my silent blog. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend and I'll catch up with you again next time. 

June 3, 2014

Dior Summer 2014: Diorskin Nude Tan Transat Edition Highlighter

I fell victim to another highlighter purchase last week. This time Dior held me captive while I wiggled my hand under department lights checking out the dimensional shimmer from the Diorskin Nude Tan Transat Edition Highlighter. The rope-like pattern embossment is to die for; I had a difficult time making the initial first swatch. While I usually avoid golden yellow highlighters, I think this shade is light enough to make you drive down to the shops for a nice swatch fest.  

This limited edition highlighter comes with a kabuki brush that surprisingly feels soft to the touch. 6.5g of highlighting goodness is nothing compared to the likes of Chanel, MAC or Laura Mercier, but since when did I ever finish a powder based blush or bronzer or highlighter anyway? 

I've been using Transat for a week now and honestly, I'm not crazy about it. It's nice to have, but it's definitely not a must have. My usual run of the mill highlighters are usually pinkish or pearlised white, because they truly enhance my cheekbones and are distinctive under any lighting situation. Golden highlighters get lost into my yellow-based skin tone. Although that said, darker skinned girls will love this. If only Dior made this available at all US Dior counters, as it was an exclusive to Saks.

The texture of the powder is soft, but not overly. I use a hakuhodo pointed tip brush, one that is fluffy that it picks up just enough powder to allow me to reapply several times to create the right sheen. The shimmer is fine and pigmented on finger swatches but using a fluffy brush makes application build able and fool proof.

I'm glad to say that I don't quite have anything like Transat in my collection. The closest cousin would be Dior's Amber Diamond, although Transat is definitely more yellow rather than amber in tone. Nonetheless, on the cheeks, amber diamond has a slight blusher appearance, making it gorgeous alone. 

Transat alone on the cheeks feels quite incomplete and requires a cheek blusher. I like my highlighters to nicely reflect light at most angles, and Transat didn't quite do it for me. Here are some close ups. 

Overall, I would say that Transat is one of those items you either love or 'like' depending on your skin colour. For me I am still on the fence, even after a week of use. I like my highlighters noticeable and bright, and Transat was in my opinion too subtle for my yellow undertones. Darker girls will adore this while lighter fair skinned girls will probably find it 'meh' in passing. I feel that this is a product for collectors - the embossment is gorgeous and the pal gold shimmer will look fabulous with anyone darker than NC35.

Some of you may be wondering where I've been... Where should I start?
  • I have a new job that requires me to work late nights. 
  • I had overseas friends for the weekend.
  • I am taking up additional language classes, making me the most boring fart on weekday nights.
  • I am going more regularly to the yoga studio, so the last thing I feel like doing post-workout is a full face of makeup. 
  • I've started a home improvement project and weekends are left for errands. 
And in my spare time, I go shopping. For makeup! 

So I have a huge backlog as usual and hardly any time to blog. 

But I still try. And so I hope you give me credit for that. :-)

I met a new friend during my little spree at Tangs 12%. Hi Grace! It was really nice to meet you and hope to see you again sometime. 

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